Buenos Diaz!
Allow me to provide you with a quick update on Funemployment. I’ve gone to bed
late and woken up whenever I’ve damn well felt like it. I’ve visited museums,
I’ve picnicked in the park; I’ve read by the beach; I’ve gone from being the
girl who doesn’t drink coffee to finding myself four drinks shy of a Starbucks
Gold Card. In short: I’ve taken a moment to breathe.
I’ve also
been writing my face off at all hours of the day. I confess that I’m still
trying to figure out a routine, playing around with how to make the best use of
my time in order to be as productive as possible. I’ve learned that leaving the house
is essential in staying disciplined. At home, it’s too tempting to watch reruns
of Say Yes to the Dress, get up and fix myself a snack, or decide that my
bookshelves need reorganizing. To avoid falling into this trap, I leave the
house in the morning with gym bag and laptop in tow and try not to come back
until close to dinner time. Spending all
this time at libraries, book stores, coffee shops and even the occasional
brewery has reminded me that
life is much more interesting when you’re not sitting at home.
Yesterday for
example: my day started with an hour long walk around a beautiful lake with my
cousin. Not wanting to go all the way back to my house to shower, I decided to
head to the nearest gym instead where I could get in some weight work and then
just shower and get ready there. That’s exactly what I did, which seemed like a
great idea… that is, until I found myself dripping wet in the gym shower and
realized I’d forgotten my towel. Awesome. Picture me toweling off with a tiny
hand towel I’d found in my gym bag. That was fun.
Later after
a quick visit to my favorite bookstore/coffee shop and a lovely picnic lunch at
a waterfront park, I set up shop at my favorite library for my usual writing
session. It started off well enough- we all know I’m generally at peace anytime
I’m surrounded by books. Today I happened to pick the floor (did I mention this
library has NINE of them???) where library etiquette apparently went to die. A
woman let her toddler scream unbridled while the child demanded a soda, a
teenager answered his phone and proceeded to tell his caller at full volume
that he has a new stash and to meet him at the crib later, and someone else
refused to silence their ratchet rap ringtone while the phone rang and rang and
rang.
I was
cursing myself for having left my headphones in my car when I suddenly noticed
that a man in his forties who’d been walking back and forth in my field of
vision was hovering and trying to get my attention. I’d actually been annoyed
with him earlier too for also neglecting to use his indoor voice, still I
obliged and whispered, “Oh I’m sorry- what was that?” He told me I looked just
like Judy Polish-sounding-last-name-ski, so I asked who that was; he let me
know that this Judy gal was indeed his ex-girlfriend and then tossed me a
folded up library card application. I was about to ask what the deal was when
he interrupted me to say, “Just, just you know, do me a favor and read this.
Nothing urgent, nothing important. Just read it, you can toss it. Ok. Ok
bye!” He then scurried away as quickly
as he’d come. I felt several pairs of nosy eyes on me and suddenly felt quite
embarrassed, so I left the note untouched for several hours before finally
picking it up when it appeared no one was looking. I give you Exhibit A:
I had to
laugh at the last part: “I swear I’m not creepy, I just have this super creepy
request.” When I did get up and leave the library eventually, I kept looking
over my shoulder and peering around corners like a paranoid freak. I kept
expecting him to pop up from around a corner to accost me with his flash
photography. My friend Carlos says the guy probably snapped a pic from his flip
phone 60 yards away. Excellent.
Lastly, I
made my way over to Target to pick up a couple of items. I was minding my own
business in the lotion aisle when a screaming child came tearing towards me,
clearly attempting to flee from his parents who were in hot pursuit just a few
yards behind him. He didn’t see me standing there when he came charging around
the corner and thus ran smack into me, falling backwards on his rear end as a
result. He looked at me with fury in his eyes then took one of those long, deep
breaths that you just know is the
precursor to a cringe-worthy fit. Sure enough, the fit was had. He screamed and
bellowed as he angrily tore open the item he was holding like a tiny little
meth addict, which unbeknownst to me at the time was a packet of Peeps. He
proceeded to grab a little yellow chick and hurl it in my direction, and it
made contact with my face. His parents
appeared to haul him away walked away with a renewed gratitude for birth
control.
So. Lessons
learned. Not having that towel forced me to walk from the shower to the locker
room in my bra and underwear, which is a huge step for me since I generally
dress immediately after showering. Body positivity is a cause I like to
champion, but I am only human and admit freely that fighting that nagging
insecurity about my body is an active and uneasy process. As it turns out, no
torch-wielding villagers appeared to demand that I cover my hideous body or
face death; I didn’t feel as self-conscious as I usually do, which was a nice
feeling.
The creepy
can-I-take-your-picture guy may have been, well, creepy, but I’ve decided that
sometimes the universe senses that you need a compliment and throws one in your
direction; who am I to question the source? I mean sure, I’d be smitten if it
was Chris or Liam Hemsworth calling me fine; I’d have posed for that photo in
two shakes of a lambs tail and invited Liam to play out my own special
rendition of the Hunger Games. Still, this library man took the time to
approach me and had the balls to do so in what is supposed to be a quiet,
leave-me-alone-I’m-reading setting. I’m going to give him some credit and take
the little pick-me-up to go.
As for
Little Beau Peep, well… his antics made me want to kick him into next Tuesday,
truth be told. I am no mother, but if my spawn decided to fly into a Hulk-like
fit of rage while tearing open a package of sugar crusted, animal-shaped marshmallows
to then chuck at innocent bystanders, he or she would be doomed to learn a hard
lesson from their mother about how to act in public. Really though, my
annoyance gave way to amusement pretty quickly. I mean… the kid threw a
frickin’ Peep at me. A PEEP! What’s more- his little tantrum assured me that I
am where I need to be in life, i.e. that I’m not quite ready to have children just yet.
Peep this though: there’s something fabulous about the freedom in that statement. That time
will come for me someday, that time just isn’t now.
Bookishly
yours,
Vanessa
